When she said I’ve got nothing to lose, they both knew she was lying. What she should have said was, I have something to lose, but I’ve lost so much before it doesn’t really matter anymore. Which would be closer to the truth, though still a misleading statement.

If she wanted to be completely honest, she’d simply say: I understand that my chances are slim, yet I am forced to take the risk by powers beyond my comprehension.

The risk was insignificant. The loss was almost tolerable. The disappointment was exaggerated; the fear was not. Fear of
days to come and her inability to trust anybody, not as a consequence of past events, but mostly due to her general scepticism towards other people’s motives.

Polished by real-life experiences, her scepticism now shone like a dark mirror. Whenever she looked into it, she saw her face beneath its mask of hardness, and instantly knew she was no match to the ruthless cynics of this world. Her power was purely defensive- and she didn’t want it any other way.