The heat. It's taking control. Standing at the bus stop, I expect to begin evaporating any minute. I drag myself to work, but only physically. The rest of me is simply counting days till I'm out here.

“You should keep your phone with you, whilst you're away” they told me at work. I mumbled a hesitant “yes”, which in fact meant “Sure, I'll take my phone with me, I might even be as kind as to bring a charger, yet I might face considerable difficulty in finding a eh.... plug. They don't normally provide them, not even on five-star beaches. Therefore, I'd suggest you employ other means of communication- a message in a bottle, perhaps? Just don't be surprised if my reply is somehow incomprehensible. I intend to be positively spaced out most of the time.”

We're a lost generation, us 20somethings, constantly fantasizing of the Big Escape. So lost, I don't even see people our age any more. The ones I meet are either over 30 or still at school. But it is summer now, and our herds of beloved students have began to make their way home- mostly back from England, where their hearts lie (together with their parent's money and part of their sizzling brain cells).

You can always tell newcomers from the colour of their skin. Those just-arrived are pale and keep complaining about the heat. The bright red ones, enthusiastically stumbling on you whilst you're trying to cross the street, are tourists. As for Athenians, they comprise an exhibition of all the possible shades of brown, from dark beige to mild types of skin cancer.

Actually, it is an urban legend that men no longer obsess with the size of their penises; instead, they focus on comparing the intensity of their tans. On weekends, they spend hours stuck in their cars- cheap and expensive ones side by side, since traffic, like death, makes everyone equal- only to secure the tiniest place on the crowded seaside, where they sit sporting nothing but their branded swim wear and designer sunglasses, until their skin melts into the sand and they need to be carried away on stretchers.

Sadly, superficial colour changes do not facilitate the necessary alterations inside their heads...