Sometimes, just sometimes, i feel like a fool. Priorities that don't much- your name is high on my list, my name is barely mentioned in yours. Most of the time, I can handle it, I don't let it bring me down for too long. I remind myself I've been through worse; that I'm the only one to blame for getting myself stuck in emotional dead-ends.

Still, once in a while, my defense-mechanisms fail; the dream ends; I wake up lonely, and all these people surrounding me cannot fill the gaps. Flirting is good, but how can it ever suffice when you've known trust and warmth and companionship?

Meanwhile, work is starting to dominate my life- not a wholly unwelcome change, yet it's hard to adjust when your reality keeps shifting. In my dreams, I miss deadlines and interviews, I say the wrong things to the wrong people, I am fired due to personnel cuts. When awake, I'm consumed in doomed attempts for tension release and the hopeless pursuit of oblivion...