I wish you were here
Even for a short while.
I wish you were someone else.

I wish I'd never met you
Wish I could escape
My minds' prison,
The paper bridges,
The agony.

I wish you were lost in a maize,
Where only I could find you.
I wish you were naught but dream
So only I could want you.
But there's no time,
There is no space.
Crawling on the ground,
Our desires.

And deep inside
I know I'm happier in your absence,
I'm whole.

Because you never understood
-Or cared to see-
The fears that burnt my thoughts,
Those days
When I would cling
Onto your shadow,
Those days
When I would long
For just one touch,
A sign,
A promise of unhindered comprehension.

How could I trust you?
How could I doubt
Your every sentence?
Where did it spring from
My hope to enter your reality?

How could I picture you
Sharing that longing,
The trembling fantasy
Of random meetings
In places far away
And unexplored,
When you would only offer silence
For an answer?

And I, the fool,
Why did I ask
My endless questions?
Why did I let obsessions blur my sight,
Wasting your time,
Uncovering your reasons,
Why did I beg for more
Than you could give?

I wish I was here
Even for a short while.
I wish I was someone else.