I’ve always hated my boring, common, annoyingly christian name. But I just realised that at least it starts with the right letter. Think of how many of life’s ultimate pleasures begin with c: coffee, chocolate, cinnamon, cakes, cookies, cherries, candy, cheese, carnivals, colours, childhood (and childishness), chess, couches, candles, camping, creativity, craziness, coasts, challenges, changes, contradictions, chance, coincidences, controversies, cynicism…-not to mention cannabis, cocaine and cunnilingus.

Ok, it is possible to do something similar with most letters of the alphabet, but trust me, it doesn’t get much better that. Unless you’re a serious, hard-working individual who detests surprises, stays away from drugs and never eats sweets. As well as a man. In which case, you’d probably still find some pleasure in conservatism, chauvinism, caution, celibacy, control, cholesterol, cash, cheques, consumption, cigars, cities, cars, congestion, church, calendars, career, conventions, corruption, criticism and…constipation.

Thoughts of an extremely tired, moderately hangover and blissfully slow mind. Your tolerance would be much appreciated.