I waste my youth at the wrong places, I waste my dreams on the wrong people, I waste my strength in fleeting fantasies. My art will never be worthy of immortality, and my life...I'm helplessly watching it slip away.

Who are you and what do you want from me? Looking forward to something is enough to ensure its collapse, needing someone suffices to make them disappear- or fail you. Recurring themes threaten to overwhelm us; loneliness the most tenacious of them all.

Please, I screamed, take me away, give me a purpose to fight for, a reason to go on. The sound of silence echoed like evil laughter in my head. I didn't cry- no, I am too proud for tears, too focused on hiding my Achilles' heel, too busy building fences and preparing assaults.

Keep it all in, don't let your weakness rise to the surface, put up the perfect show of indifference and self-sufficiency. Then what? Explosions? Thunderstorms? Earthquakes? Or a slow demise that knows no cure, eternal apathy, a cancerous decay of the soul?